Thoughts
by Scrawlingcat
Summary: Maura's thoughts, that big brain of hers is bound to get her in trouble, and Jane's there to comfort her when it does.


It wasn't the first time they'd fallen asleep like this, limbs tangled together, Jane's arm curved tightly around her slim waist. Maura smiled softly thinking about her raven haired friend, the way she'd wrapped her arms around her, holding tight, her breath hot on Maura's creamy skin, so close she could almost... Maura shook her head, these thoughts of Jane were highly inappropriate, but she couldn't help herself, like it or not, she was smitten.

It wasn't the fact that Jane was a woman that kept her from acting on these feelings, no, she couldn't care less about that, goodness knows she'd been with woman before, but none of them had been Jane. Maura wasn't one to make friends easily, in fact Jane was her first and best friend, so why did Maura constantly find herself wishing for more. It went past physical attraction Maura knew that, and that was what scared her most.

No one had ever mean't more than her to jane, not even Garrett and they were engaged. not Ian who had stirred the closest feeling to love she'd ever had, That was, until jane came along. Dark and fierce, those chocolate brown eyes bore into her soul. All long limbs and sharp angles, Jane was to Maura in every sense of the word, perfect. These thoughts of Jane sent heat all over her body, pooling between her legs and she cursed inwardly, just being in close proximity to Jane reduced her to the likes of a hormonal teenager, incapable of coherent thought.

Maura sighed, opening her eyes and taking in the sight of a sleepy Jane Rizzoli curled up in her bed, her dark hair spread across the pillow. Jane look so young, peaceful almost, lying there half asleep. Maura smiled at the thought of being able to see Jane like this, so open and vulnerable. Jane hated to be vulnerable, and she did her best to make sure no one ever saw her like that, accept of corse Maura.

Maura had seen Jane though good, bad and downright terrible, but the more Maura saw of her brown eyed companion the more she came to lo-care. Care. Not love. No. At least not right now. More importantly Jane didn't seem to feel that way. Sure she loved Maura, but as a friend, right? Maura had seen the way Jane looked at her, those dark eyes filled with so much admiration, acceptance, borderline attraction. Those looks made Maura feel more loved than she had in a long time, maybe ever.

Sometimes Maura swore she saw a glimmer of hunger, the way Jane would rake her eyes over the medical examiners petite figure, lick her lips, god those lips. Maura wanted nothing more than to... No thoughts like that were not okay. Jane was the best thing that had ever happened to Maura and she wasn't going to loose her just because she couldn't , what was the phrase Jane had used the other day?, "keep it in her pants" Whatever the phrase she wasn't going to let her attraction to Jane ruin their friendship, even if Jane felt the same way.

Neither of them had very good track records with relationships, hell last time Maura went on a date, he turned out to be a serial killer, the time before that she got drugged and ended up in prison. Maura knew thoughts like that were irrational and Jane would rather die that hurt her, no it wasn't Jane she was worried about. What if Maura hurt Jane, she couldn't do relationships, she always ended up driving people away. Jane was the only person that had stuck with her this long, her birth parents gave her up and her real parents weren't exactly present. Not to mention everyone who she cared about in her life stemmed from Jane, and if loosing Jane didn't kill her first, she was pretty sure loosing Jane's friends and family would. No she decided, she would just have to keep her thoughts and feelings to herself, thats what she'd done before Jane, she could do it again, resurrect the walls Jane had so easily knocked down.

All thoughts of that however, disappeared as Jane stirred pulling Maura closer to her and nuzzling into her neck, mumbling something unintelligible, that sounded suspiciously like

"My Maura"

At that Maura felt her cheeks grow hot and her eyes fill with tears. It was all she could do to refrain from sobbing, as she gently stroked a strand of Jane's dark hair behind her ear, and delivered a soft peck to her forehead. Before whispering her voice thick with unshed tears

"Go back to sleep Jane"

But she wasn't fooling anyone especially not the slumbering detective beside her. Jane's forehead creased, and she opened her eyes looking dazed before Maura's teary profile came into view. At that Jane's focus cleared, and she immediately jumped into action wrapping her arms around Maura's petite frame and pulling her impossibly close. Jane ran her hand though Maura's golden hair, and began rubbing comforting circles across her back,

"Hey" she whispered her voice thick with sleep, and despite the tears Maura felt a shiver of arousal run through her.

Jane cupped Maura's cheek before tilting her head so brown and hazel eyes met,

"Maura, whats wrong sweetheart" Jane spoke her face etched with worry.

At the use of the pet name, so familiar, so Jane, Maura lost it. loud sobs wracked her body as she clung to Jane for dear life.

Jane was usually the one who freaked out about emotions but here she was crying so hard she couldn't breath. How was it that the phrase "My Maura" and a few pet names could reduce her to this, she was the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, an intellectual for crying out loud. Yet she was behaving like a three year old, throwing a tantrum when she didn't get what she wanted, and boy did she want Jane, she wanted her so much that it hurt sometimes.

When Maura had finally calmed down enough to draw breath, she spoke,

"I'm so sorry, Jane please don't go, I'm sorry, so so sorry."

Maura winced as she heard the desperation the neediness in her voice, but at that moment she didn't care, all she cared about was Jane, come to think about it all she ever cared about was Jane.

Jane looked horrified at Maura's outburst, hugging her even tighter, pulling her close,

"No, no, baby" she cooed the pet name falling easily form her lips,

"I'm not going anywhere, hey look at me I promise ok." Jane continued, before leaning in to rest her forehead against Maura's, so close their lips were almost touching.

She then brushed an imaginary hair behind Maura's ear, before resting her hand, cupping her delicate cheek.

"I love you, Maura Isles" she whispered against Maura's lips.

Maura was drawn from her dream like state, she had been so focused on the way Jane's breath felt against her lips she had almost missed it. for a second she thought she had dreamt it, but there it was again. Jane murmured, beginning to close the gap between them

"I fucking love you"

"Don't" Maura yelled suddenly, jumping away from Jane like she had been burnt.

The venom in her voice surprising her as she repeated herself pointing her finger in Jane's face.

"Don't you dare"

Maura was now standing looking down at Jane, who was sitting in her bed looking somewhat bewildered and hurt.

"Hey, I'm sorry Maur, I known you hate it when I swear, but.."

"Don't" Maura cut her off, her voice almost a growl.

Realisation flooded Jane's features as she stuttered out an apology, her words blurring together as she rushed to get it all out,

"I..I thought you felt the same way, at least I was hopping you did, but I get it I mean you don't love me and thats... Thats, I can deal with that, but can we please pretend this never happened and just go back to being friends, cause I can take rejection, I can Maura but loosing you, that'd kill me."

She finished taking a deep breath, her face grimaced in pain, but her eyes carried hope, and.. And love. It overwhelmed Maura, enveloping her as she took a step toward the bed, taking Jane's shaking hands in her own, and gently massaging The raised skin that lay there.

"Jane" she breathed, closing the distance and capturing Jane's lips with her own.

She melted into Jane's embrace, putting all the emotion she had bottled up, all the pent up feelings, into the kiss. Jane's hand found its way into her hair, as the other one snaked around Maura's waist pulling her into Jane's lap. At this she moaned wrapping her arms around Jane neck and biting her lip, her tongue seeking access. Jane obliged and Maura found their tongues dancing, perfect rhythm between them. Maura wanted to taste everything, she couldn't get enough, everything was just so wonderfully Jane and she pulled Jane closer tangling their limbs together until she wasn't sure where she ended and Jane began.

They pulled apart eventually, panting heavily smiles plastered across both woman's faces. Soon the euphoria of the kiss faded and Maura's smile was replaced with a serious look.

"Hey, don't over analyze it Maur ok, don't freak out, I can see that big brain ticking away." Jane spoke with a worried smile.

"Don't worry in not, I just.. Jane..." "

I like kissing you" Jane interrupted, leaning forward to silence Maura with another kiss.

"mmmm" Maura moaned before pulling away, her expression that of fake annoyance,

"Stop doing that Jane I'm trying to talk to you"

"No talking" Jane spoke hurriedly in between kisses.

Finally Maura dragged herself away placing a finger to Jane's lips, silencing her dark haired companion. Taking a deep breath she spoke,

"I love you jane, and I'm sorry about yelling at you..."

"And crying" Jane butted in again.

Maura shot Jane a glare, and Jane guiltily signaled for her to continue.

"And crying" Maura repeated before continuing,

"it just that I was thinking about you and how much you mean to me and then, you were half asleep and you said 'My Maura' and I just lost it because no one had ever said something like that to me before, something so sweet, and then you called me sweetheart and told me you loved me and I was a bit overwhelmed. At first I though you meant just as a friend and I couldn't take, how much that hurt so I lashed out and I am so sorry, and I love you so much and you are so perfect and amazing"

She finished slightly out of breath punctuating each complement with a kiss to Jane's collar bone. Maura looked up, and saw Jane's eyes misted with tears

"Detective are you crying" she teased in fake shock.

"Shut up" Jane grumbled pulling her in for another searing kiss.

This time as they broke apart Jane whispered,

"l love you Maur, so much" before wrapping her arms around Maura's slim waist and pulling her in for a hug.


End file.
